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(aka "I Was a Teenage Sex Mutant" or "I Was a Teenage Sex Manaic")

 

directed by David DeCoteau
USA 1989

 

Straight-laced college freshman Wesley Littlejohn (Billy Jacoby, BLOODY BIRTHDAY) has a paralyzing fear of talking to girls; so, naturally, he spends more time hanging out with horndog friend Marvin (Stuart Fratkin, TEEN WOLF TOO) than getting to know sweet music major Leanne (Olivia Barash, PATTY HEARST). When pipe-smoking biology professor Dr. Ackerman (A SUMMER PLACE's Troy Donahue, third-billed and onscreen for less than two minutes) - I'm guessing his first name is Forrest - winds up in traction (courtesy of a flying saucer), he is replaced by sexy substitute Ms. Zenobia (Judy Landers, STEWARDESS SCHOOL) who singles Wesley out from his horny classmates to assist her in after-school experiments. After being injected with RE-ANIMATOR neon green fluid by Zenobia's assistant Drax (Raymond O'Connor, HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS), Wesley sprouts a phallic tentacle from the top of his head, dons a new - well, "eighties" - wardrobe, and becomes irresistible women (the exception being the only girl he really wants). Marvin agrees to help Wesley discover what Ms. Zenobia and her assistant want with him, but there is plenty of distraction with horny coeds and faculty, a school bully (Scott Morris, ELVIRA: MISTRESS OF THE DARK) and his girlfriend Karla (Julie Gray, SCHOOL SPIRIT), and a New Wave rock band that wants suddenly-popular Welsey as new lead singer.

Of the handful of David DeCoteau eighties "might as well be direct-to-video for all of their limited theatrical screenings" productions I have seen, DR. ALIEN comes closest to feeling like a mainstream film rather than a low-budget imitation: in this case, the eighties teenage comedy that adds a supernatural/sci-fi twist to teenage growing pains (although it's more of an R-rated ONCE BITTEN than WEIRD SCIENCE) complete with rock music numbers and an ANIMAL HOUSE-esque summing up of the "everyone gets what they deserves" fates of the characters. The results are fairly entertaining and occasionally funny, but one gets the feeling that it would be entirely intolerable without multiple topless females including eighties scream queens Michelle Bauer (SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA) as a coed and Linnea Quigley (RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD) as one of the singers of a New Wave girl band (which also includes adult actress Ginger Lynn [BURIED ALIVE] and actress/stuntwoman Laura Albert [THE UNNAMABLE]). SLAVE GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY's Elizabeth Kaitan appears in a couple shots as a waitress and BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS' Edy Williams is also on hand as an bosomy aerobics instructor who rips her top off at the sight of Wesley in the girl's locker room. Jacoby's younger brother Bobby (NIGHT OF THE DEMONS 2) also plays his younger brother in the film (together they perform the theme song "I Was a Teenage Sex Mutant").

Eric Cotenas

Poster

Theatrical Release: 12 October 1989 (USA)

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DVD Comparison:

Cult Video - Region 0 - NTSC vs. 88 Films - Region 0 - PAL

Big thanks to Eric Cotenas for all the Screen Caps!

(Cult Video - Region 0 - NTSC - LEFT vs. 88 Films - Region 0 - PAL - RIGHT)

DVD Box Covers

 

 

 

 

Distribution

Cult Video

Region 0 - NTSC

88 Films
Region 0 - PAL
Runtime 1:23:36 1:23:30
Video

1.33:1 Open Matte format
Average Bitrate: 5.24 mb/s
NTSC 720x480 29.97 f/s

1.33:1 Open Matte format
Average Bitrate: 5.3 mb/s
PAL 720x576 25.00 f/s

NOTE: The Vertical axis represents the bits transferred per second. The Horizontal is the time in minutes.

Bitrate:

 

Cult Video

 

Bitrate:

 

88 Films

 

Audio English Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo

English Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo

Subtitles none none
Features Release Information:
Studio: Cult Video

Aspect Ratio:
Fullscreen - 1.33:1

Edition Details:
• Cast Listing
• Weblinks
• Merchandise Links
• Trailers for ASSAULT OF THE KILLER BIMBOS, BEACH BABES FROM BEYOND, TOURIST TRAP, CREEPOZOIDS, SLAVE
• GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY, BIMBO MOVIE BASH!, CANNIBAL WOMEN IN THE AVOCADO JUNGLE OF DEATH,
• PARASITE, and PETTICOAT PLANET

DVD Release Date: 11 April 2000
Amaray

Chapters 14
 

Release Information:
Studio: 88 Films

Aspect Ratio:
Fullscreen - 1.33:1

Edition Details:
• Bonus feature film AUDITIONS (4:3; 1:17:51 - see below)
• Original Trailer (4:3; 1:53)
• Still Gallery
• Trailers for SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA, PUPPET MASTER, THE DEAD WANT WOMEN, PUPPET
• MASTER II, TOURIST TRAP, ZOMBIES VS. STRIPPERS, THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM, PUPPET MASTER III, CASTLE
• FREAK, and CANNIBAL WOMEN IN THE AVOCADO JUNGLE OF DEATH

 

DVD Release Date: January 14th, 2013
Amaray

Chapters 8

 

Comments

Since 88 Films' new DVD sports the same running time as the interlaced 1999 US DVD from Cult Video while containing none of the usual NTSC-PAL artifacts, I suspect that the former DVD may actually be an NTSC conversion of a PAL video master (the UK Colourbox VHS tape was also certified by the BBFC with an 83 minute running time), although the US disc contains a negligible sliver more information on the right side of the frame. The Dolby Digital 2.0 renderings of the Ultra Stereo tracks are of similar quality.

The UK disc has the edge in extras with the film's original trailer as well as an entire bonus film (more adult than the main feature, but no less juvenile), as well as trailers for current and forthcoming DVD and Blu releases of Full Moon product.

- Eric Cotenas

 


DVD Menus
(
Cult Video - Region 0 - NTSC - LEFT vs. 88 Films - Region 0 - PAL - RIGHT)
 

 


 

Screen Captures

(Cult Video - Region 0 - NTSC - TOP vs. 88 Films - Region 0 - PAL - BOTTOM)


(Cult Video - Region 0 - NTSC - TOP vs. 88 Films - Region 0 - PAL - BOTTOM)

 


(Cult Video - Region 0 - NTSC - TOP vs. 88 Films - Region 0 - PAL - BOTTOM)

 


(Cult Video - Region 0 - NTSC - TOP vs. 88 Films - Region 0 - PAL - BOTTOM)

 


(Cult Video - Region 0 - NTSC - TOP vs. 88 Films - Region 0 - PAL - BOTTOM)

 


(Cult Video - Region 0 - NTSC - TOP vs. 88 Films - Region 0 - PAL - BOTTOM)

 


 

directed by Harry Hurwitz
USA 1978


 

An ad is placed in a Hollywood trade paper announcing two days of auditions for the sexiest man and woman and the strangest act. The auditions will be filmed by a hidden camera with direction from the similarly hidden producers in two sets: a French boudoir and a dungeon. Although it seems like a setup for one of the handful of late seventies films about snuff filmmaking, AUDITIONS is an excuse for the audience to see several men and women (mostly women) revealing their bodies and simulating sexual acts for a prize (as well as a handful of strange acts involving ventriloquism, puppets, comedy, and weird music performances) followed by some paired performances.

If the presence of a couple "professionals" among the off-the-street hopefuls - porn stars Rick Cassidy and Rick Lutz, pre-Scream Queen Linnea Quigley as underage "Sally Webster", seventies sexploitation faces (and bodies) Linda York (FANTASM COMES AGAIN) and Jennifer West (NIGHT OF THE DEMON), voice artist Joey Carmen (who would actually get a Band gig from his audition in the R-rated FAIRY TALES, also directed by AUDITIONS' Harry Hurwitz) - then the constant cutaways from the supposedly single hidden locked-down camera to angles that keep some realistic-looking sex scenes conveniently softcore (despite the theatrical X-rating) should indicate that producer Charles Band wasn't brazenly scamming a bunch of gullible would-be actors for profit (I have no idea if releases would have been required back then). Attempts are made at verisimilitude with performers either belligerent about having to take off their clothes or about being turned away, a couple potential psychopaths (Michael Hardin - of Band's END OF THE WORLD - as a guy who can only get off when his gun is the third partner in a menage-a-trois), the delusional (a pudgy effeminate opera singer who is auditioning for sexiest man rather than strange act), and the underage (although the filmmakers have her clothes torn off by two men before telling her that it would be illegal to use her). It matters not who wins the strangest act, nor even the sexiest man and woman awards because the finalist orgy is hardly a measure of skill so much as a piling of writhing naked bodies onscreen. AUDITIONS was also one of a handful of X-rated films future Empire Pictures/Full Moon producer Charles Band unleashed onto the rental market (including Joe D'Amato's EMANUELLE AROUND THE WORLD on Wizard Video, Cult Video's SNUFF, and Walerian Borowczyk's IMMORAL TALES on the Force label, as well as several unrated imports).

Eric Cotenas

Poster

Reviews                               More Reviews                               DVD Reviews

DVD Review: 88 Films - Region 0 - PAL

Big thanks to Eric Cotenas for the Review!

Distribution

88 Films

Region 0 - PAL

Runtime 1:17:51 (4% PAL speedup)
Video

1.58:1 Original Aspect Ratio
Average Bitrate: 5.3 mb/s
PAL 720x576 25.00 f/s

NOTE: The Vertical axis represents the bits transferred per second. The Horizontal is the time in minutes.

Bitrate

Audio English Dolby Digital 2.0 mono
Subtitles none
Features Release Information:
Studio: 88 Films

Aspect Ratio:
Widescreen letterboxed - 1.58:1

Edition Details:
• (see above)

DVD Release Date:
Amaray

Chapters 8

 

Comments

A bonus feature on 88 Films' disc of DR. ALIEN, the interlaced AUDITIONS is likely an NTSC-PAL conversion but the aged video master (presumably the one for the early eighties Wizard Video tape) wasn't too hot to begin with. At least it's letterboxed (at approximately 1.60:1, possibly as a compromise between 1.85:1 theatrical projection and intended 1.33:1 cropping) but the print is dark with dull contrasts and scratches (and the master has a few instances of tape damage). The Dolby Digital rendering of the mono track fares better. There are no extras related to the film, which is unfortunate because it would have been interesting to hear the story of how the film was produced (likely not in the manner in which its setup suggests).

- Eric Cotenas

 


DVD Menu
 

 


Screen Captures

 

 


 

 


 


 

Report Card:

 

Image:

88 Films

Sound:

Draw

Extras: 88 Films
Menu: 88 Films

 
DVD Box Covers

 

 

 

 

Distribution

Cult Video

Region 0 - NTSC

88 Films
Region 0 - PAL

 




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